When I was in high school I had a really good friend who often said I wore rose-colored glasses.  He was a really smart guy and a year older than me.  So, I think I took that oft-heard comment as an indication that in order to be “really smart” and “mature”, I would need to eventually take off those glasses.  Over the years, there have certainly been times and seasons when the glasses seemed to be slipping.  But this morning as I read Luke 11:34 from The Message, it hit me that I don’t ever want my “positive outlook” to leave me – or even become dull from years spent in this crazy life.  Certainly, there have been experiences and circumstances that I wish were different.  I do expect the best, goodness, and honesty from people I meet along the way and when they behave differently than I expect, it is shocking and disheartening.  But Jesus said to live “wide-eyed in wonder and belief”.  Jesus said that if I live “wide-eyed in wonder and belief”, my whole body – my whole self – will fill up with light.  I don’t know about you, but that’s how I want to live!

I want my whole outlook to be hopeful.  I want to believe and see God move and trust His heart for me.  I want to be a doer of His word and trust Him for the results even when I don’t see them.  I want to extend grace to the people I meet and forgive them when they stumble because I have been extended great grace and I have stumbled many times.  I want to be known as His girl because I am filled with His light.  And I want to see others like God sees them: precious creations, made in His image; masterpieces worth dying for.  So, “mature” and “really smart” or not, I will keep looking around with wide-eyed wonder and belief, holding unswervingly to the hope I profess, knowing that the One who promised is faithful.  My prayer is that you will do the same.  Who doesn’t want to be filled with light?

I am working through a pretty hefty book right now by John Stott called The Cross of Christ.  This morning’s lesson is on “propitiation”.  How’s that for a vocabulary word?  It’s so funny to me that I am studying this now because 5 years ago, before sitting under the teaching of my current Pastor, I would have had to look it up in a dictionary.  (Don’t worry… you don’t have to get yours.  I am about to tell you what it means!)  Now, it at least doesn’t scare me!  To “propitiate” means to assuage or appease someone’s anger; to gain or regain the favor or someone else.  Turns out what I “often say” can be summed up in one really big word.  I don’t like thinking too terribly much about the anger of God, but to use my own terminology, “propitiation” simply means that God did all the hard work to save us.  To quote, Stott, “It is God Himself who in holy wrath needs to be propitiated, God Himself who in holy love undertook to do the propitiating, and God Himself who in the Person of His Son died for the propitiation of our sins.  Thus God took His own loving initiative to appease His own righteous anger by bearing it His own self in His own Son when He took our place and died for us.”

I don’t know about you, but that blows me away.  God took His own loving initiative to do the hard work for me because He knew I would never be able to do it for myself.  He bore His own righteous anger at MY sins because He knew I would never be able to withstand it on my own.  And then He, Himself, in His Son, Jesus, died for my sins so that I might be His very own daughter – chosen, adopted, blessed, gifted with every good gift, abundant and eternal life, the Fruit of the Spirit and the very fullness of Christ.  And my job is to simply accept His gift of grace and mercy, rest in His salvation and trust Him with all that I am and all that concerns me.  My job is to simply gaze into my Father’s face and fall in love with Him.

O Father, captivate me.  Even when I struggle and pull away – as children sometimes do – hold me fast.  Change my heart and draw me close.  Whisper my name in the winds of life in this world and the downpour of my daily.  Continue to do the hard work of drawing me to Yourself and make me more and more like Jesus as I keep my eyes fixed on Him.

Anyway, both of these fairly expensive, much loved electronic devices went missing on the same weekend.  The weekend in question was February 23-24, better known in the Mulligan House as the “Mom was out of town and then totally wiped out because she spoke at a big conference with Laura Story” weekend.  That, simply to say, I wasn’t paying much attention to where anything was on Sunday afternoon.  Monday was spent “redeeming” the weekend: doing laundry, putting things away, organizing etc. etc.  And, frankly I did a fabulous job: no baskets of stuff hanging around or piles waiting to be sorting!  I even dusted, for heaven’s sake!  So, on Tuesday or Wednesday, when I finally realized that said electronics were amongst the missing, I didn’t even know where to look! 

Well, when Momma can’t find something – even if it’s not hers – ain’t nobody happy in the Mulligan House!  So, we searched and lamented and stressed and cried and fussed and every time the missing electronics crossed my mind, we did it again.  I literally began asking God for 3 things: 1. Keep the DS and the iPod safe.  2. Show us where they were!  3. Keep the fact that I didn’t know from driving me completely insane.  In order to appreciate the fact that I am really not exaggerating my distress here, you need to know that I still have flashes of anxiety regarding a Walkman I lost my junior year of college… 20 years ago!  Really.  Blessedly, God began to answer number three really quickly!  Had He not, I may have been hospitalized before number two could ever happen!

The next weekend came and went.  I did an EXHAUSTIVE search of the Suburban, the Jeep and the church… because when your Daddy’s the Minister of Music and your Momma’s the Sunday School Director, SOMETIMES you get to take electronics to church on Sunday afternoon…  to no avail.  They were gone.  Totally lost!  I had texted Papa, Joey’s Mom, Hannah Beth’s Mom and Mrs. Dianne – the lady who cleans the church.   There was nothing left to do except learn a lesson in responsibility and keep on truckin’.  But, of course, even with God’s undertaking, Momma’s mind kept calmly turning to “Where the heck could those things be?!”  Several times, I had flashes of brilliance and as I was going to check a coat pocket or my bag of props from the conference, I giddily thought: we’re about to find them!!  But we didn’t. 

Until last night!  I went into my daughter’s room to do something, when all of a sudden I had an overwhelming urge to see if she had been cramming things under her bookshelf when she “cleaned her room” daily.  And there, crammed way over to the left – to her credit, the side her DS is supposed to be plugged in on! – was her DS, case and all!  Momma lost it a little, but was generally thrilled that we had found the DS and overjoyed that we now had a REALLY good reason to go ahead and clean up the rest of the stuff I found under her bookshelf.  And clean out her nightmare of a closet.  And her hideous “junk drawer”.  I told you: I’m a little obsessive compulsive… about some things!  Kep whispered to me as we finished up her room, “You know what, Mommy? God answered my prayers.  I was really praying that He would help me find my DS.”  Bless her heart!  She’s got a little of her Momma in her!  There was celebrating at the dinner table!  Praise was offered to the Lord!  And Caleb wanted to know if I had found his iPod too.  Bless his heart.  We asked God, as a family, to keep his iPod safe and to help us find it.

I decided that even though God had answered MY prayers also and I was not obsessing about the iPod any longer, I couldn’t, in good Mommy Conscience, just let it go completely until I had done a big “search and rescue” in Caleb’s room too.  So, this morning, that’s what I did.  I organized, dusted and vacuumed – even under the bed.  I cleaned out his junk drawer and checked every pocket of every coat and bag in his closet.  But I didn’t find his iPod.  I left his room, praying, “God, please keep the Pod safe until we find it and use this to teach Caleb a lesson in being responsible that he won’t forget.”

Then, I decided since I was on such a “roll”, I would continue my super-cleaning!  I was dusting the rocking chair from Caleb’s nursery that now sits in our upstairs landing because his sister had asked that we put it in her room.  Heaven knows it needed a good dusting before I put it in that freshly cleaned room!   I had wiped every nook and cranny of the base then lifted up the cushion to clean under there too, when what to my wondering eyes appeared – stuck WAY down under the side cushion – but my boy’s iPod!!  WooHoo!  Go God!  Go Momma!

I still hope Caleb, and Keppley, both learn a lesson in responsibility from these last 10 days of distress over their missing electronics, but I have to say, that I am truly praising the Lord this afternoon that the lesson we ALL got to learn today is that God answers prayers.  He knows every hair on our head and where all our stuff is!  He knows what stresses us out, when it’s best to leave things lost and when it’s best to reveal them to us.  He knows what we need and how long we need to struggle until the lesson is learned.  He will take our anxiety from us if we ask Him to and yield control to Him.  And just when we think that’s the lesson we’re supposed to learn, He’ll make it more about His goodness than our need to learn our lesson.  I am so glad God keeps searching for and rescuing me when I’m “lost”.  And I am SO glad I get to tell Caleb that God answered his prayers today too!

This morning, my mind turned to her again and I prayed again.  Then, this afternoon, in the middle of my normal, unexciting life as a typical, stay-at-home Mom, while doing an almost futile job, Melissa suddenly came to mind again and I found myself thanking God for the strength to mop my own floor.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I thanked God for the chance to pick up my Kiddos at school and clean up after their endless messes.  I thanked God that I would have a chance to love on my husband again and even fight with him again about that same old thing we always fight about.  Suddenly, in the shadow of a million thoughts of my sweet, old friend, Melissa, all the things that were driving me just a little crazy a moment earlier were huge, precious blessings.  Those miniscule “burdens” I had been silently complaining about were unveiled as the blessings they truly are: I get to pick up my kids at school.  I get to mop up after their spilled milk and Popsicle drippings.  I get to have that hard conversation with my husband.  We get to try again.  I get to pay the bills and fold the clothes and vacuum the floor… again.  I get to take the dog to the vet and run the carpool and coordinate the PTA volunteers.  I get to.  I.  GET TO.

I finished the last swipe of the mop, ran out the door to pick up my kids and prayed for my friend again: this time that somehow she would know that no matter what happens, her life has made a huge difference.  Not just to her husband and her sweet babies, but to me.  I remember her as a beautiful girl.  A girl that was pretty from the inside out.  I remember her as a girl who cheered and sang and laughed and encouraged others and was a true friend.  I remember her as a girl who welcomed me into her circle of friends even though I was the “new kid” from far away.  I remember her every time I pass the church she went to back when we were in high school and even though it’s been ages, I know Jesus was the most important thing to her way back then.  Even though it’s been ages, I can tell that He is everything to her now.

I will continue to pray for a miracle until she is back to being the Mommy she wants to be again or until I hear she has finally met her Savior face-to-face.  And my perspective on all those “normal” things I do will never be the same because of what she’s fighting through.  That sweet, pretty girl, that the Lord brings to mind when I pass her old church in our old town has always been a part of the best of my “everyday” high school memories.  And now, God has used her to shape what will become the best of my “everyday” Mommy memories.

Please pray for my friend, Melissa.  And when the everyday, normal stuff you do feels like a burden, remember her and thank God that you “get to” do it.

“Hello?!”

“Hello… Mrs. Mulligan?  This is Sensei calling on behalf of Caleb.”

“Yes?! [Geez, Mister, get to the point... I'm freaking out here!] Is he alright?!”  Note that I have still not realized WHY the poor man is calling!

“Yes… yes, he’s fine, but… class is over.”

“OH MY GOSH!  I am so sorry!  I am on my way as we speak.  I am so sorry!  I was thinking class was over at 7:30!  Oh my gosh!  See you in a minute!!”

The Suburban could not move fast enough through the streets of my town and the whole way there I kept thinking, “Ugh!  I usually try to hide my craziness a little better than this!’  How totally crazy is that?  I know Sensei to be a Christian man and he was all smiles and “no problems” when I got there.  My sweet first born actually argued with me a little when I apologized, saying it was his fault that I was late.  Bless his pumpkin heart.  In the end, all was well and we made our way back home laughing and talking like we usually do.  But as I finished dinner, I decided I shouldn’t try to hide my craziness from anybody.  I’ve officially decided it’s a good thing that my true, slightly disheveled self is now out there for Sensei to know and laugh at over dinner.  (Note I am assuming here that he couldn’t have POSSIBLY realized I was crazy before now!  Ha!)

It’s a good thing because if we’re honest with each another, we’re all crazy in some way.  Some of us are better at hiding it or polishing it up, but the bottom line is, we’ve all lost our minds somewhere along the way.  If you haven’t, you soon will.  And that’s OK.  ”Crazy people” need a sense of humor and understanding friends and family – and, incidentally, a really good calendar app on their phones!  “Crazy people” need grace and lots of it.  We need God.  And when we stop trying to hide the crazy, we let God and everyone else get a little closer to us.  We realize more easily how good God and those family and friends have been.  And we are much better equipped to love them from the kind of heart that loves best: an honest, true, open one.

So, the next time you are feeling a little crazy, remember, first of all, that you are not alone.  You can confidently say to yourself, “No worries… I’m sure Joeli is somewhere losing her mind at this very moment!”  And most importantly, remember that God is well aware of your crazy and wants to use it to keep you honest!  Embrace the crazy.  I think we’ll all be better for it!

Day 1 – On this First Day of November, I am most thankful for the incomparable love of Christ and for “the way” that He has made for me – both in this daily life and on into eternity. Far too often, I don’t “Consider Jesus” as I should, but I when I do, I am overwhelmed by who He is and what He has done. When I do, I am overwhelmingly thankful!
“One of them, when he realized that he was healed, turned around and came back, shouting his gratitude, glorifying God. He kneeled at Jesus’ feet, so grateful. He couldn’t thank Him enough…” – Luke 17:15-16 (The Message)

Day 2 – I am thankful for Kevin Mulligan, my awesome husband! I come from a bit of a “Family Bush” and spent a lot of time before we got married watching families and marriages trying to figure out what made the good ones work. We’re not perfect, but what we have is so much more than I thought was possible! Kevin loves me even when I am very unlovable and he does what the Word says to do: “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything He does and says is designed to bring out the best in her… (Eph. 5:25-27a from The Message)

Day 3 – I am SO THANKFUL for my Kiddos!  No one makes me love more or desire to be better like Caleb & Keppley do!  I believe what I always tell them: God picked the PERFECT babies for me!  “Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord.” (Psalm 127:3 – CEV)

Day 4 – Crazy thankful for our church family: a pastor that preaches and lives the Word, mentors that pour time and LIFE into our family, great teachers, wonderful friends and brothers & sisters in Christ who laugh and cry with us, pray for us and make this walk tons better than it would be without them! LOVE those Cedar Creek Peeps! SO thankful that God called us a “far piece” out to the country… the drive is a pleasure!  “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:23-25)

Day 5 – Today I am thankful for the ways God takes care of me.  Words are so inadequate.  He provides all the “basics”, a ridiculous number of “wants”, universal and personal things, things everyone knows I want and things only He and I have discussed, big and little, important and trivial… He’s my Father and He never fails to give good gifts.  “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)

Day 6 – On this Election Day, I am especially thankful that God saw fit to make me a citizen of the United States of America. It is a blessing and I am proud of my country – no matter who the President is or how many problems we have left to solve!  “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’” (Acts 17:26-28)

 

Day 7 – Today, I am thankful for Brian P. McLendon and who he will always be to my 17 year-old self. I’m thankful for the wonderful memories that have been floating through my head these last several days. I am thankful for his precious family and for how they allowed me to be a part of their lives and loved on me and set a good example for me of what “family” is all about. I’m thankful for the life he lived and the things he taught me way back when and in retrospect. I’m just thankful that I knew him and will be praying for his family today as they remember him and mourn for him. Rest in peace, Friend.

 

 

Day 8 – I am thankful for the great school my kids attend and that I get to work there sometimes! I love substitute teaching… and HONESTLY, the other kids don’t seem to think I am NEARLY as nerdy or embarrassing as my own kids do! HaHa! I am also thankful – again – for my precious husband, who understands my tears for a friend I haven’t really talked to in 20 years. He’s quite the catch, that one.

 

 

On this 9th day of November, I am thankful for gorgeous blue skies, splashes of fall color on the trees and crisp, cool mornings! And how could I not be?  This is the view from my front porch:

 

 

 

Day 10 – Today, I am thankful for my nieces and nephew! Gracious! I love those PUNKIN HEADS! And… I now know that “aunthood” is just one small step below “grandmotherhood”: sugar ‘em up, spoil ‘em rotten and send ‘em back to Mommy! JoJo loves you bunches and bunches Berkeley, Avery, Annabelle and Liam! XO

Day 11 – I am thankful for this phrase in scripture: “But He gives us more grace. (James 4:6a)” Greater than our sin. More times than we fall. More often than we ask. More than we will ever need. Thank you, God, for grace upon grace upon grace.

 

Day 12 – Super thankful for the “catastro-tunity” Kep and I had getting her new glasses. It was an unexpected detour that turned into a great little “Girl’s Day”! Love that Chick!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 13 – Thankful that we get to CHOOSE! We get to choose to do right, respond rather than react, and extend grace rather than anger. We get to choose to believe the truth rather than our sometimes erroneous emotions – and we get to choose when we go with our hearts over our minds. I don’t always make the right choices, but I am thankful that I GET TO CHOOSE. AND that I get to choose differently next time if I get it wrong THIS time!

 

Day 14 – Thankful that I have a fun sister who loves me and understands certain aspects of my “CRAZY” like no one else really can! She is brilliant, beautiful, talented and a super-fabulous Aunt to my Kiddos! Even though we are years and miles apart, we somehow manage to have fun and stay connected via phone, text messages and Facebook! Looking forward to “in person” fun over Thanksgiving break! Love you , Baby Sister!

 

Day 15 – Thankful for long-standing family traditions, great memories and the thought that my “Babies” have a pretty neat little heritage. Our family is not perfect, but we do all right and it is clear to me that God is working and blessing!

Day 16 – Thankful for full days and all the friends that I have made along the way! From high school and college friends that turned into “life-long” friends, to my extended family, in-laws and their in-laws, to my brothers & sisters in Christ, Bible study Peeps and Playground Moms! You know who you are and I am VERY Thankful for you!

 

Day 17 – Thankful for a WONDERFUL day at Williams-Brice with lots of family and friends! And almost just as thankful that I am now in my jammies hitting the hay!

 

 

Day 18 – Thankful for great church friends that let us camp out at their house and share in their family time when we’re “workin’ for The Lord” in Blythewood. Thank you so much! We had a great time!

 

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.” ― Jean Baptiste Massieu
My heart is so full of wonderful memories. So many good things, innumerable blessings and cherished memories to be grateful for on this 19th day of November.

 

 Day 20 – Thankful for my Maddy Girl and Horace. I sometimes fussed about Maddy and get frustrated with Horace, but I wouldn’t trade those 4-legged “babies” for anything. I love having a Pupper underfoot!

 

 

Day 21 – Thankful that the Pre-Christmas decorating is done, my family is on the way, Grandma Corn is prepped, collards are cooking and we are in the home stretch!!

Day 22 – A heart overflowing with gratitude on this official day of Thanksgiving… for all the things I’ve pondered this month and a million little moments of grace, love, and fun that I know I take for granted all the time. I am a blessed Girl. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

 

Day 23 – Thankful for my whole CRAZY family!  (And the picture below isn’t even ALL on them!  And I’m not even counting the Mulligan side!)

 

 

Day 24 – Thankful for more family time, my college alma mater and a win over Clemson!  I know… I know… maybe I shouldn’t bring up the Clemson/Carolina Game, but we Gamecocks still have all long way to go until we surpass Clemson in total rivalry wins.  So, I gotta cock-a-doodle-doo when I can!

Day 25 – Thankful that my brother and his family did not have to head straight back home after Thanksgiving this year!  I use the term loosely, but it will be nice to have some “normal” time with them now that the holiday craziness has subsided a bit!

Day 26 – Thankful for both of my wonderful, talented, FABULOUS sisters-in-law and the friendships I have with both of them.  Jason and Michael, you made good choices!

Day 27 – Thankful for the warm home, reliable vehicles, clothing on my back and food in the refrigerator that I am blessed to have.  I so take the little things for granted, but today I am looking at the ordinary with a truly grateful heart.

Day 28 – So thankful for the opportunity I am having this week to build relationships with my Munford nieces.  I don’t see them often, but we are forming a sweet little bond this week that I love… singing, playing, snuggling, laughing and doing all the daily things that carve out spots in each others’ hearts.  It is going to be hard to say goodbye on Saturday.

Day 29 – Thankful that changes in the plan can still yield great times!

Day 30 – On my last official day of Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I took the time to ponder all the people, memories, circumstances and things God has used to bless me.  In every case, being with my friends and family, making the memories, finding joy in the circumstances and appreciating the things has been heart-warming.  The practice of noticing each of them everyday this month has increased my gratitude and makes me cherish more all the parts that make up the whole.

Happy Thanksgiving, Readers.  I pray that a grateful heart will be yours through Advent, Christmas and into 2013.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  That’s what the Bible says; right there in Hebrews chapter 11, verse 1 – the very beginning of the Faith “Hall of Fame”.  Being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see – at least with our physical eyes – is a basic element of the Christ-follower’s walk and yet sometimes I wonder if we understand what it really means.  If I was really sure of what I hope for and truly certain of what I do not see, I think my life would look completely different.  I think I would be absolutely fearless and bold, compassionate and kind to a grander degree and completely stress-free in the knowledge of God’s love and the security of His sovereignty – if I was REALLY sure… if I was really certain. 

I started pondering how what we see (or in the believers’ case, what we are sure and certain of) affects how we behave, this summer when I found myself in the optometrist’s office with both of my children.  They had some trouble with the standard eye exam at their well check-ups and, even though their pediatrician thought they were probably fine, he referred us to a specialist – someone who looks at children’s eyes all the time.  So, there I sat with my son and my daughter as the doctor examined their eyes.  My son walked away from the exam with glasses that he should wear all day long, but that he can really function without.  My daughter, Keppley, was a different story.

When the doctor dropped lenses over my own eyes to allow me to see what my baby girl was seeing, tears immediately threatened to fall – and absolutely would have if she had not been in my lap.   The “sharps container” on the wall that I had been instructed to focus on became an almost indiscernible, undefined blob of khaki and orange.  How in the world had my little girl wandered through life this way without my notice?  How did she make it through preschool – 5 days a week – and learn her alphabet, shapes, numbers and colors without being able to SEE? The rush of questions and concerns for my daughter came fast and hard as I fought to keep it together for her benefit.  I knew it wasn’t the end of the world.  I knew that glasses could correct her vision, but I just didn’t understand how I had missed it.  I didn’t understand how SHE had missed it.  I was sad that she had gone through so much of her short life, literally in a blur.  And that was all before we left the doctor’s office!  After a trip to Lens Crafters and an hour wait, both of my babies had brand new specs and Keppley’s life was transformed.

Her eyes were truly opened and it made all the difference.  She first saw with her “new eyes” in the main corridor of the mall: lights that used to be one big glow were now a multitude of tiny individual sparkles. Her wide eyes and huge grin told the whole story.  She sat silently staring out the window, smiling at the cars and trees and buildings we passed on the way home like she had never seen anything like them before.  And I guess she hadn’t.  I remember telling my husband that, to me, her voice even sounded different.  Over the next few days I noticed that she ran faster on the playground and was especially struck when she caught my eye from 50 feet away, flashed a brilliant smile and gave me a “thumbs up”.  She had never done that before.  It occurred to me that she had probably never noticed before that I was smiling at HER.  How sad that she had missed her Mommy smiling over her, simply enjoying the girl she was.  How sad… and yet we – as God’s children in Christ – miss it every day.

Without faith, life is a blur – just one big indiscernible, undefined existence that can be scary and hard to navigate.  Without faith, we are unsure and walk with trepidation, constantly worrying about what’s around the next corner and fretting over when we will run into something else.  We do the best we can and manage to muddle through, hopefully adjusting and picking up what we need along the way somehow.  And most of the time, no one else notices the wandering.  A lot of the time, we don’t even notice it ourselves.  But the spectacles of faith can transform our lives.

With faith in Jesus Christ, we can be sure and certain – even when we can’t see.  According to His Word, those who look to Him are radiant – like my beautiful girl when she first looked through those new glasses.  Faith transforms our wandering into wonder.  Our whole perspective can be different.  By faith, we can see clearly, live fearlessly and run boldly unencumbered and with complete abandon, taking Him at His word and trusting that He is with us.  In Christ, we are set free – to work and play; to serve and do all things for His glory.  By faith, we can be sure that God has us.  And we can be sure, according to His Word, that He delights in us.  Nothing makes Him happier than when we keep our eyes on Him, run full speed ahead and recognize that He has been smiling our way all along.  For surely, “no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Cor. 2:9)

So, with the disclaimer that I am certainly no Bible scholar, here are a few of my observations from my most recent read through Job.  If you avoid his story (as I sometimes have) or haven’t read it in a while, maybe this will peak your curiosity and get you flipping back to the Old Testament.

God trusted Job to remain steadfast in the midst of trials

Sometimes, depending on how we perceive our circumstances, we don’t want to think about the fact that everything in this life goes through God’s hands and we certainly don’t want to think that God would point us out to Satan, but that’s exactly what happened to Job.  It is oddly encouraging to me that God saw Job living his life in a way that was pleasing to Him and said, “There’s my servant.  There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”  I don’t want to go through a fraction of what Job went through, but WHEN suffering comes, it is good to know that God is still in control and that maybe, He is simply trusting me to remain faithful to Him in the midst of the trial. 

Job’s Friends: A Study in What NOT to Do

Job’s buddies say a lot things that resonate with me as a believer in Christ.  They make factual statements about God’s character and the benefits of holy living and repentance.  They make pretty good arguments that any attorney or philosopher would be proud of.  They give reasons for why they say what they say and their culture would have affirmed an awful lot of it.  They even remind me of New Testament writers sometimes.  (Compare Eliphaz’s comment in Job 15:35 to James 1:13-15 and see if you agree.)  But they never seem to draw the right conclusion because they DIDN’T KNOW WHAT GOD WAS DOING. 

Over and over again as I read, I was reminded that as good as our intentions may be, as much as our culture may affirm us, as well versed as we may be in the practices of the church and even in the Word itself, WE DO NOT KNOW THE MIND OF GOD.  We would do well to remember that and hush up sometimes.  Sometimes, being right and even knowing God’s character and what He has revealed to us in His word is not what’s needed.  Sometimes, what’s needed is just a loving friend that will shut her mouth and sit with us in our misery.

And one more lesson from Job’s friends: sometimes what we “observe” and what we feel are A) not right and B) not good enough reasons to speak.  (See Job 4:8 and 20:2-3)

Seeing Jesus in Job

After spending a solid month in the Old Testament, it was refreshing and surprising to be reminded of Jesus.  In chapter 9, verse 33, Job says, “If only there were someone to arbitrate between us.”  And I replied in my margin: “There is an arbitrator in Jesus!” 

Job 14:15-17 says “You will call and I will answer you; you will long for the creature your hands have made.  Surely then you will count my steps but not keep track of my sin.  My offenses will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover my sin.”  And my mind went to Jesus: weeping over Jerusalem, giving up heaven’s throne to live on this earth, dying for my sins, knocking on the door of my heart and rescuing me from worry, uncertainty, dissatisfaction and death.  My prayer scribbled in the margin of His word: “Thank you, Jesus, for accomplishing this very thing.” 

He longed for me.  So, he came and got me.  My sins were many, so He sealed them up and tossed them away.  I don’t understand all of His ways, but I surely do love Him.  And I hope one day He will say of me: There’s my girl.  There’s no one earth like her; she is blameless and upright, a woman who fears God and shuns evil.

As you know, if you have read any of my other posts, I am continuously working to “walk my walk” well in front of my Kiddos.  I feel I am constantly taking “baby steps” in the right direction, but must confess – AGAIN – that I am never as happy with my progress as I think I will be, for instance, when I have a morning like the one I wrote about in “The First Day of a New and Better Way” .  When I have mornings like that I always think, “This is it!  I have mastered self-control and a Christ-like attitude!  Every day from here on out will be victoriously lived.  My children shall rise to call me blessed!”  Of course, I don’t consciously think that, but somewhere in the back of my mind, that must be what’s going on because when I LOSE my mind yet again – typically only hours and sometimes just minutes later! – I am always shocked and perplexed that I have obviously taken one step forward followed by two steps back.  Anyway… that’s how it’s been these last several days: one step forward and two steps back.  We are on the tail end of the summer, with no routine, bedtime, screen-time limitations or structure and both Kiddos have been sick.  So, in retrospect, I should have seen the “set-up” and been more alert to it, but until today I wasn’t.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon an ad for Lysa Terkeurst’s book, Unglued.  I don’t even know how I got there, but I am certainly glad I did.  I read a sample chapter, thought to myself, “She seriously lives in our house!  Where is she hiding?!” and signed up to take the “Unglued Challenge”.  I honestly felt kind of silly doing so since I figured I already knew what she was going to say and had probably said it to myself a million times before, but sometimes we just need to hear things again with a slightly different twist.  In the spirit of the Olympics, I give Lysa a “10″ on her twist! 

I don’t know exactly what the book is going to end up saying, but this morning as I was closing my “Unglued Challenge - Day 2″ email, I heard stomping and screaming upstairs followed by a distinct door slam.  Hmmm… 

Day One was awesome.  Day Two threw Isaiah 55:10-11 at me and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “Remember, Joeli?  My Word accomplishes what I desire and achieves the purpose for which I sent it… you should use it.”  Lysa shared that one of her strategies for remaining “glued” is to stop whenever she feels out of control and pray the promises of scripture in present tense.  She offered up 1 Peter 5:6-8 as a good starting point: “Humble yourselves therefore, under God;s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.  Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 

So… back to the door slam.  I could feel my Mommy Pulse beginning to race, but before I could fully process all the same standard thoughts I normally think: Kevin’s son (Did you catch that?) has GOT to learn to control himself, what am I going to DO with that boy, what parenting strategies are applicable here… and how loud will my OWN footsteps be as I stomp up the stairs to address HIS obvious need to practice some self-control, Mister!!  Hmmm… the Holy Spirit grabbed my thoughts again, “Psst.  Joeli… now might be a good time to give Lysa’s suggestion the old college try.  And how about you teach this particular strategy to Caleb too?  Just a thought…”

Deep breath.  Stayed “glued”, Joeli… pull yourself together.

Dear God, I hear you loud and clear and I am humbling myself under your mighty hand.  I know that you have every answer and that your way is best.  Lift me up in your time and help me to be the person you want me to be.  God, I am anxious about so many things: am I going to mess them up with my own faults?  How can I teach them things I feel like I am still learning myself?  I am obviously not doing such a great job here if doors are slamming upstairs!  What if?  What if?  What if?  But God, I am casting all of that anxiety on you because I know you care for me.  Oh God, help me to be self-controlled and alert.  My enemy is indeed the devil – not Kevin, not Caleb, not Keppley, not my To-Do list or my extended family or the lady who cut me off in traffic or any of the things that kept me up last night – but the devil himself.  And I know that he is prowling around trying to get me to fall into his traps.  But I won’t do it.  In your strength, I will to resist him and stand firm in the faith.  Help me do this your way, Lord.

Sigh.  God is so good and so on time.  I said “amen”, closed my Bible and tip-toed, ninja-like up the stairs and down the hallway to Caleb’s room.  We took deep breaths together.  We pulled ourselves together… together.  I “shared” with him – as if he wasn’t already aware of it – that I have some problems with self-control too.  And then we commenced training.  We read the Word just as it is. 

Me: And what is the Word?

Caleb: The sword of the Spirit.  (He’s so smart!)

Then we practiced wielding that sword.  I prayed my own prayer and he spent some time praying his. 

And within minutes I had the “opportunity” to share the same lesson with Keppley.  Ugh.  We Mulligans… we were not gifted with innate self-control and we get feisty pretty quickly.  But you know what, we feel stronger already!  Exercising our faith, wielding His sword, defeating the enemy and loving each other along the way makes walking the walk so much sweeter.  I know tomorrow might be another challenging day, but we are taking baby steps together.  And one day soon we will look at each other and see three lean, mean (figuratively speaking, of course!) sword-wielding machines!  WooHoo!  Go God!  Go Us!

Check out Lysa’s upcoming book for yourself here: http://www.ungluedbook.com/

My babies have done wonderfully on their “standardized tests”.  They are straight “A” students with big personalities and lots of friends.  They are musically inclined and wise in so many ways.  They can push all of my buttons one minute and absolutely melt my heart in the very next.  Of course, I want them to have every opportunity their wonderful school can afford them.  Of course, I am proud of their academic achievement.  I love that they win Spelling Bees.  I love that they get chosen to outline tough concepts in their own words for the entire school.  I love that they are funny and smart and friendly.  I KNOW they are fabulous and I like to get outside confirmation of it whenever possible!  But “standardized testing” just bugs me. 

I feel like every time a test comes up, they are asked to prove their worth.  It seems to me that “Standardized Testing” calls into question how well my Kiddos are already doing right where they are.  Standardized testing makes them wonder if they are really OK.  It says in a back-handed kind of way: “let’s see if you really meet the mark”.  But I don’t want to send my kids out into this world with that kind of message floating around in their heads.  I want them to know that even if they don’t make straight “A”s, even if they never stand in front of the class or on a stage, even if nobody else ever thinks they are totally awesome – I ALWAYS DO!  So, in the interest of clarifying my stance, I’ve written an open letter to Caleb and Keppley:

Dear Doodlebugs (I know… their friends already make fun of them because of me!),

Today, you are heading off to school to take some standardized test and I just want you to know before the first question is even asked that you are not “standard” in any way.  No test will ever measure who you are to your Daddy and me.  No test will ever define the course of your life and no test will ever determine your worth.  You are uniquely and wonderfully made.  You were chosen from among every possibility to be ours and we think God made two fabulous decisions!  Before we ever saw your face, you were firmly planted in our hearts and, if it is even possible, we love you more now than we did then. 

So, as you head out the door this morning – well-rested and full of a protein-rich, brain-boosting breakfast – just remember that.  And do your best.  Do your best and know without question, that God, Mommy and Daddy love you no matter what!  Do your best and know that we are already proud of you.  Do your best and know that your best will always be good enough.  Do your best and show everybody what is absolutely clear to me: you are ANYTHING but “standard”!

Love,

Mommy

My prayer is that my Kiddos – and yours – will have sure confidence that they are valuable and loved.  Not because they scored well on any test or because they always get picked first.  Not because of their performance at all, but because they feel valued and loved everyday – right where they are, just as they are!  That is a “standard” I can get on board with and will gladly try to meet.