Navigating the Rapids

Never A Dull Moment – Week 3, Day 5

Well, honestly, this whole journey has been a lot more about navigating the rapids as opposed to charting the course.  I decided from the beginning that when I was given an opportunity to speak or perform somewhere, I would take it as an invitation from God and simply say, “yes” unless there was some concrete reason to say “no.”

Aw… that quote makes it sound so nice.  LOL!  Some of you know how I got into this whole thing now called Speechless Ministries, but I am betting most don’t.  Shortly after Caleb was born, Mom and I went to a Women of Faith conference, where I was first introduced to dramatist and author, Nicole Johnson.  She was truly my inspiration to perform like I do today.  I loved her and I had never seen anything like what she did!  As I hemmed and hawed around her table, Mom grabbed a set of scripts she had for sale and stated, “I’m buying these for you.”  Well, thanks, Mom.  What the heck am I going to do with a bunch of scripts?

I am a “waste not, want not” girl and those scripts just tormented me, frankly!  When the women’s team at my church began planning a conference, I approached my lead coordinator and good friend with this very confident proposition: “So, listen.  I have these scripts and there’s this one monologue about motherhood and if you have time in the conference, I would be willing to perform it.”  Plowing on… “I mean, it won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t have time or it doesn’t fit your vision.  I mean, don’t feel obligated to LET me perform or anything.”

Geez.  That’s just the kind of person you want taking the stage at your event, right?!  Thank God Angie is a sweet, kind friend who also gets the job done.  She’s the type that when she says it, you can go ahead and check it off your list… because it’s handled; the perfect person to get some folks in line and make stuff happen!  She’s also the type that knows when her friend needs a boot to the bottom!

Are you crazy?  YES!  You’re going to perform the drama! – Angie

Oh, Lord Jesus, help me!  WHAT have I gotten myself into?!

I have never been so nervous in my life.  Like, throw up in the sanctuary, dying, not talking to anyone (THAT nervous?!  Yes.), “HOLY COW!  Why did Mom buy those stupid scripts!” NERVOUS!

But I did it!

And someone from another church saw it.

And then the phone rang.

And she wanted me to come do a drama at her church.

And I told her I would pray about it… and resolved in my heart that I would never call her back.

LOL!  For real.

I hung up the phone and glanced across the room at Kevin, my husband, who also could be categorized as the type of person who gets people in line and knows when they might need a boot to the bottom.

No ma’am.  I know you and you need to decide right now that when that phone rings you are going to take it as a call from God and just say “YES” because if you don’t, you’ll never go anywhere.  And the fact that you’ve been asked to go somewhere means that you ARE CALLED to do this. – Kevin

Gah.  Why does he have to be all up in my business with all his wisdom and stuff, pouncing right on me when I was planning to confidently ignore this invitation and conveniently forget to call Melanie back.  Fine.  I called her back and told her I would do it.  There was just one problem: I didn’t have “dramas.”  I had one drama!  I didn’t have a repertoire.  I had one… drama.

Whew.  Thank God for those scripts Mom bought!

I picked another from Nicole’s repertoire, “Rocks” and the nerves started again.  Oh.  MY. WORD!  How did I get talked into this?!  What am I thinking?  Who’s going to watch Caleb?! What if someone else calls?!  I only have TWO dramas!  Throw up. Dying. Wailing and gnashing of teeth.

But I did it!

And I left that place and cried the whole way home.  And all could say to the Lord through my tears was, “Thank you… thank you… thank you” over and over again.  I may not be the best dramatist you will ever see or the greatest singer, most eloquent speaker or most insightful teacher, but standing on that stage I knew that I had been obedient.  I knew that no matter what had happened before or the moment after, for those 10 minutes on that stage, I was RIGHT in the center of God’s will for my life.  And you know what?  I would not trade that feeling – that blessing – for ANYTHING else in the world.

I am typing through tears as I think about it.  I was so scared, but I had determined that I would be obedient, that I would not miss out on anything God wanted to give me and He gave me more than I ever thought possible.

I just kept saying YES and 12 years later, I’m walking through my devotional book with you and have two speaking events coming up.  I don’t perform Nicole’s stuff very much anymore because I write my own dramas now.  How faithfully God ministered to my heart through that process is a blog for another day.  I’ve led conferences and shared a stage with Laura Story.  I have a repertoire now!  😉  God keeps planting desires in my heart.  He keeps allowing the phone to ring.  He just keeps opening doors and giving me the courage to walk through them.  And it is the coolest, best thing.  As much as I pray I’ve ministered to others, the way God has ministered to ME on this journey is the best part.

What rapids are staring you in the face today?  What have you ignored that you know in your heart is God’s call?  Don’t let fear rob you of the blessings that God is waiting to give.  Isaiah 48:18 says, “If only you had paid attention to my commands (if only you had been obedient), your peace would have been like a river (not a stagnant, still pond, but a raging river, able to handle the twists and turns and make it over the obstacles in the way) and your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

Don’t worry about charting the course, friends.  Just resolve to navigate the rapids with the One who spoke the river into being.  The journey is the best part.

Hello world!

Should anyone happen upon this new Speechless Ministries site before I am “officially” ready to roll it out, let me first say “Hello and Welcome”!  I am attempting to get all my ducks in a row to follow the Lord in obedience and get my name out there a little more proactively than I ever have before!  I covet your prayers as I begin this journey in earnest and invite you to check back here soon and often.  I hope to make some great progress in the next several days: I will be adding new content and photos, hopefully booking new engagements soon AND for the first time, writing for public consumption!  Many blessings to you and yours!  May you see God at work around you this day and fearlessly jump in when He calls!